Oddities of amputees’

So, in this journey of my new normal, I am finding an ever increasing amount of wierd and wonderful (if you can call it that) attempts to make a disabled persons life easier! That coupled with the constant battle of the able bodied insisting upon using the only disabled toilet as their personal poo toilet! So in the spirit of sharing, I thaught id do just that.

Firstly I may have mentioned before that whilst I cannot work in my profession as a registered nurse, I am topping up my GCSE’s. Also, because I love to learn, and kind of go a bit stir crazy if I cant! So at my college there are a few funny attempts to make my life a little better. The first being the disabled stair lift to get down to the costa cafe, and then the same to get to one of the only disable friendly toilets.

Firstly the lift. I have shown a photo below, as it has to be seen to be believed! In order to get on the lift at the top of the stairs you have to position yourself on the edge of the steps, and then lean forward; hope to god that you dont topple out of the chair; then grab the heavy leaver, and pull down the platform to get on the lift. Now assuming you have arms like a power lifter, then you would still struggle with this. So firstly thats a problem. Then once your on the lift. Your stuck, unless you can miraculously shimmy down to the bottom of the stairs to press the button that operates the lift! Yep you read right, the button that operates the lift is at the bottom of the stairs! Then if you manage to grab some poor person, who lets face it, probably has better things to do with their time, then it takes bout 5 mins to travel down just a few steps. After which, in order to go to the toilet, you would have to repeat the pricess again. So its fare to assume that one task could take half the morning. I get to college at 7am, which is the only time my wife can drop me off. There is no one else there at that time. Not until at least half 8. Lets face it, who would want to be unless necessary.

Now, assuming that all of these things happened, and you make it to the toilet, then you reach another hurdle. Each disabled toilet has male toilets and female toilets either side; you can guarentee that someone is either camped out in there, or have just left; pleasantly leaving behing the mornings emination. Why, oh why, do people insist on using the disabled toilet as their personal poo toilet? There are plenty of others which they can use, and only a couple which I can, and yet i have to either que or risk the activation of my gag reflex!

So my challenges seem to come every day. Things that I never thaught id face. I do wonder what smart engineer thaught of putting in a disabled lift, with a button you cant reach! The college is very conscientious towards me as im only one of 2 wheelchair users in the college. So you would think that I wouldnt have any problems using the loo! I will be asking if they would consider making one of the toilets a radar key entry. We only get a 15 minute break in the morning and I never have time to wait for and get into the toilet. When you use a chair, or a prosthetic for that matter, its a nightmare to get anywhere fast! This way if there are any other disabled, non wheelchair users then they can use the bathroom as well.

So my top tip of the day would be, pee before you leave home. Have a radar key, which you can get from your local council, and maybe take a mask soaked in perfume, so that you dont have to smell the previous toilet occupent!