Breathing and such…

For the past two weeks, I have been attending another pain management course via zoom. This one is slightly different from the last one, as it is targeted towards CRPS. I am half way through my second week, and it is quite helpful (at the start of writing this). It has been great to talk face to face with other sufferers of this rediculous condition, and hear stories which mirror each other! The only thing which differs is the fact that the others have had treatments of all different kinds, and I have not. But on the positive side, I have had the opportunity to learn about the treatment which seem to have a good effect on pain. One lovely lady recieved Lidocaine infusions. I’ve heard of them, but obviously have not been able to try them…and the results seem to be really positive. Hopefully when I seen the people in Bristol, I may be able to have the chance at some treatment. I am extremely hopeful anyway!

I would thoroughly recommend the course to others with crps. It offers a different way at looking at things, and a realisation that the pain is there to stay, no matter what you do! Sounds ominous! But you can look at this in two different ways; using it, or not! I am not cured; far from it, but it doesn’t offer that. It offers a chance to try to live with it. Now I’m only on day 1 post course, so I can’t tell you if I am going to be able to apply all of the measures, or that they truly make a difference, but what the course has given me, is an opportunity to try; and some new knowledge of my condition.

As for Bristol, I am hopeful that this will be the beginning of a new chapter. I have been almost 8 years with this condition. It took 5 to get a diagnosis, and then it came back post amputation. I’ve now had it for two years again. Inspite of this I walked with a prosthetic for almost a year. It wasn’t just the CRPS which stopped me being able to wear a prosthetic; it was this other issue. The problem when you have something like CRPS is people lumping everything else under the same heading. When you have CRPS you know what it is, and what it feels like (you have no choice in the matter), so when something else crops up, you know about it! My hope is that I may be able to wear a prosthetic leg again, at least some of the time! I’m not asking for miracles, just a chance of treatment, of a diagnosis, of some intervention. A chance to be me again. I know I will never run again, and believe me, that has been the most difficult part to accept, but I could at least walk, sometimes. I refuse to give into this condition. I started to…and believe me, it’s not a good place to be…