Ive got a logo!

My new logo for the challenge.

This is my new logo for the event. I have made some clothes trying to get things out there a bit. I have a hoodie, baseball cap, T shirt, vest, and a long sleeve T shirt. All with my logo on. Cat also has a hoodie. Theyre all awaiting sponsorship logos. I still havnt got any definate sponsors as yet. I am sending emails out all of the time. I will persevere and perhapse change the email. I was sent a T shirt and hoodie from Saltrock which will come in handy post training. Sunwise are also sending me a pair of sunglasses. All of these things are absolutely wonderful, but none of them are getting me closer to my goal. I need to get my event out there. I have been speaking to the British Legion about my wheelchair, and they said they would help me. Im just awaiting a home visit at the moment. Ive just joined BLESMA too. Which is for veteran amputees. They have also been really helpful so far, and will be sending someone out to help. So I have made some progress. Now keep all fingers and toes crossed for the new chair. I only have 15 to cross now, so I need help with the others.

Thankyou to Saltrock for my goodies!

I had a really nice suprise last week. Steel bones had put a feature on their facebook page and web page about me, and what Im doing. I thaught that was lovely. So things are getting out there more and more. But not enough yet. I despirately need some sponsors. But I think that everything is a learning curve, and what doesnt work the 1st time, may need to be changed and adjusted. I will not give up.

TRAINING:

This has been steady. The Gym sessions are going great. Getting some good strength and endurance. Were trying things that weve never done before, which is so much fun. The wheeling or pushing, some people call is, is going well in some ways. But I really just need the chair. The NHS finally came up with my replacement. I was really hopeful. I thaught that it must be a little better than the one I had. It futs better, in that the width of the seat is smaller, and so it fits, but that is it. The extent of the improvements stop there. It isnt lighter, even though its made up of half plastic! The seat is too short. The wheel I use for self propulsion is really difficult to grab and I cant use it without gloves. My padded gloves dont stick at all, like they used to with the other one. I could go on, and on. Safe to say, it is a huge disapointment. I went out today for my 1st training session and it was disasterous. Really slow. The wheels seem to love to go towards every gradient. It doesnt free wheel at all, even downhill! It does have anti tipping, which is amazing. I actually think that the red one was better for training, and thats saying something! But as always. I will keep trying. Keep plodding on. Theres always a plus side to everything. Maybe this is supposes to be this way. Give me some good strenth before I get my real chair. I hope so anyway.

Now it’s done!

So, at this point I was feeling pretty pleased with myself. I was wheeling about the hospital. I had taken my catheter out. I was off the pumps of morphine. I had to have my dressing taken off because I had blisters around my wound. But other than that, all was great. I made a lovely friend too. She helped me through some of my toughest days. When Cat (my wife of 11 years) came in to see me, which was every day, we all used to sit and talk. She made me laugh so much. Who would have thaught id make such good friends with a 75 year old?

So after being in hospital for 12 days, the Doctors decided that I was doing so well, and I could go home. This was the best news ever, so why did I keep on bursting into tears? Was it that I would miss my friend? Maybe I was scared of going home as Id been safe and looked after so well in hospital? Was it hormones? ( although it couldn’t be as that ship had saled last week!). Well, it turns out that It was none of those things.

My 1st full day out of hospital. Lunch at Coal.

Before I was aloud to go home, we had to get on top of the phantom pain that I was getting. It was pretty much constant. A very unpleasant mix of electric shocks and intense pain. So I was started on mirror therapy. It was the strangest feeling. I was sat with a mirror between my legs. Looking at a leg that was no longer there, and it flet like my leg was growing back! Like id had really bad pins and needles, and the blood was finally rushing to my foot. But it couldnt be! I no longer had a foot! I then did some exercises, which was also very strange, and then had to look at my foot relaxed again, and this time it felt like the blood was running out of my foot and it was going numb again. What an amazing organ our brain is!

I was aloud home on the Sunday. 13 days spent in hospital, and 9 days post op. All the while I kept on crying at nothing. It was so great to be home. To see my two little boys, Winkeypoo and Jelly bean. Dont worry, they are my cats, im not a complete odd ball!! They are kind of like replacement children though. ( I wont bore you to death with tales of my cats, as most devoted fur mummies will tell you, we can go on for days!).

Just incase you were wondering what they look like, grey and white is Winkeypoo & black and white id Jelly bean.

So I was home. I was really happy to be home. To eat some nice food. Not that the hospital food wasnt nice, because it was. Its just that as someone who is allergic to gluten, the menu had the same stuff on it every day. So unless you stay for 4 days or less, you get rather bored.

That evening, I kept on crying on and off. My poor wife must have thaught that I diddnt want to be at home. When this was definately not it. I love being home. I was in alot of pain.

The next day we went back to the hospital to visit my friend. She was waiting for a care package, so was really fed up with waiting. She was ready for home over a week ago. It was grear to see her, and a few other ladies who I had made friends with. From there we went out for lunch and then spent a nice evening watching movies. It was then that it happened….

I had a day dream. I was in a dark room, and in front of me was an old furnis. The door was open, and I could see the hot coals and fire bellowing. On the right hand side there was a large yellow bag, lined with a thick brown paper bag. I walked over to it and inside was my leg and foot. I stared at it for a minute and noticed that my toes were crying. It then spoke and asked me why Id done this. Why did I get rid of it?

Well, following this, I cried more than ever, and then It hit me. I was grieving for my leg. I was told that it could happen, but thaught it was kind of silly, and wouldnt happen to me (a sentance which you would think Id learnt to never use by now!). But here we were. Me sobbing like crazy, with Cat trying her best to console me. It took a while, but I finally came around.

The next day I felt so much better. I was not crying anymore. Cat had taken the week off work, so we were getting out and about. It was here that I started to realise all the things that my prosthetic councellor had told me about. All the things which she said I would find hard, and all the difficulties I would have. But I was home, and now I couldnt stop smiling.

The Surgery

Photos taken before and after my surgery.

As you can tell, I finally got a new date. I was to go into hospital on the 01st of April 2019. Typical, I thaught. April fools day. Says it all really! The couple of months leading up to this date were really hard. Things took a steady decline, and I was in more pain than I could handle. So when the date finally came, it was such a relief. The plan was to go in to hospital on the 01st and have my amputation on the 04th. My surgeon wanted to get me in early so that they could get my pain under control before the surgery.

So I sat in hospital and waited, and waited, and waited, then got dressed for my block in my leg that was going to relieve my pain, but this was cancelled. So I waited some more, and before I knew it, it was the night before my amputation, and still no block. Well this was a bit disappointing. My surgeon was equally dissapointed. The pain doctor diddnt book me in for the block, like she was supposed to, so I had to be put on the emergency list. But there was always bigger emergencies than my block (which I understood).

The night before surgery was absolutely fine. I thought that I wouldnt sleep. But I had my usual amount of a few hours around pain killers. I was 1st on the list, so my wife came to the hospital first thing. We sat and waited, and waited, and waited, and then all of a sudden a friend arrived who I used to work with in theatre. She had come to take me. It was so strange. Almost all of the staff were ones who I used to work with. From the lady who collected me, the scrub nurse, my surgeon, and my anaesthetist. I was in the anaesthetic room for a while. I was really nervous about the block, but it was fine. I diddnt feel much at all. Once that was done I dont remember much. Normally I remembered the bit just before I went to sleep, but this time I diddnt. I remember waking up though.

Just after my surgery. Back on the ward.

I woke up in recovery in what I can describe as absolute agony, but with itchy toes too! (Strange considering they were no longer there). The block had worked on half of my leg, but not the other half. I was told this may happen. (I should know by now, that if there is a complication, I will probably get it!). The recovery nurse was also one of my old nursing friends. She was great. The anaesthetist came strate away and put up a morphine pump. This helped a bit, but not much. It made me sleepy. But id been living on a high dose of morphine for years leading up to this, so it was not very effective. I spent what felt like, forever in more pain than I thought possable. The doctors and anaesthetist coming in and out of my bed space. They eventually took me back to the anaesthetic room, and did another block. But this still diddnt help. I was still in alot of pain. My wife took a picture of me when I was quite bad. (As you can see below. Not my best look!). That night was just awful. Doctors were coming in as my blood pressure was really low and my heart rate high. This was mainly because of the pain and morphine. Alot of that day was spent in pain. I eventually saw a lovely anaesthetist who decided to do an epidural.

Before the surgery I was given the option of a block or epidural. I opted for a block as I felt that the risks of epidural were too high for me, with the fact that I seemed to get complications with every surgery. But after spending over 24 hours in writhing agony, I quickly changed my mind. I just wanted the pain to go. So back to the anaesthetic room I went.

Not too flatering, but this was when I was in alot of pain!

I felt the pain ease after a few minutes. I was so much happier. I still had pain, but not as much. So, this is how I spent the next 5 days. Which is the maximum amount of time that an epidural can stay in. The doctors had to keep topping up the epidural as I was still in alot of pain. But it was gradually easing. Then the day arrived for my epidural to come out. I was warned that one of the side effects was something called an epidural headaiche. I diddnt think much of it at the time, but of course, in true Lexi fashion, 12 hours after the epidural was removed my head was killing. It was unbearable. Id had migranes before, but this was far worse. I kept vomiting every time I moved. No pain medication helped. So again, I was a conundrum. Nurses and doctors kept trying their best to help, but nothing did. It did takethe focus off my leg though.

So I spent over 24 house writhing in agony, again! Then eventually a nurse put up IV paracetamol, and I was given an anti sickness injection, and The pain went. We will never know if it was this combination, or it was just time for it to end, but end it did. Oh my goodness, I was so happy. The next morning, the physio came and got me out of bed and I wheeled myself in the wheelchair they had given me, to the cafe amd back. I thaught Id go for a coffee. But then disabled life showed me my 1st limitation. I couldnt reach the bloomin cups! So I settled for a 7up. The sense of achievement was just amazing. I was mobile again, and really happy.

Im mobile again 😁