Tag: awful treatment

2022 here we come…

Yes we see 2 weeks in to 2022. So it’s a bit late to say ‘happy new year’, but I’ve said it anyway. For the past couple of weeks I have been suffering a bit. One of those things that people with crps and fibromyalgia can’t control! So it’s taken me a bit of time to writs my ode to 2021! At the moment, I’m laying on my sofa, still suffering a flare of fibromyalgia, so please bear with me if my writing is gobbledegook!

2021 in photos

So, 2021… What can I say? It was a difficult one. It began for me on new years day heartbroken, as just a few hours before I lost my sister, Linda. I had not seen her in a very long time, and because of covid, didn’t get to say goodbye either, which was very tough. Then things looked up a bit with the booking of my TMR surgery. However, the actual surgery was very difficult, and I was in hospital for a month trying to get the pain under control. But eventually, and thanks to an amazing team at East Grinstead hospital, we did, and I got home. Then almost immediately came the access in my hamstring, and the diabolical treatment at the very hospital I had worked in for almost 20 years, the Royal Devon and Exeter Hospital. I was left in a bed for 17 hours in agony. Had my pain medication stolen from my bag, by a nurse when I was in the bathroom. I ended up discharging myself after receiving no treatment at all. A few days later a huge access was found in my leg and I was suffering with sepsis. It was only thanks to my amazing gp that I’m still here at all.

So I eventually recovered from that, and sadly had to retire as an NHS registered nurse. I qualified a few months before meeting my wife. So had been a nurse for 15 years. I loved the nursing side of things, especially my time in theatres. I am a very technically minded person, so found it absolutely fascinating. I met some lovely people, and got along with the Dr’s very well. On my exit interview, with a nurse and friend, she saw how upset I was and said ‘you will always be a nurse’. A phrase I will hold deer. 💔

My early days as a theatre nurse

I was also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia later on in the year, which was not a surprise. But it is rather annoying. It gets in the way of my life in a different to crps. I end up not being able to move for days on end…and for someone like me, who never stops doing stuff, it is a cruel and unusual punishment. Bit it is just another battle that must be fought.

The good bits… I have been out wheeling lots, and managed to complete the blesma 11k, and Mt Everest (virtually). I also wrote the first and second draft of my novel. I am still editing it to try to get it to where I want it to be, and soon will be sending it off to a professional to sort it out, so that I may stand a chance of someone taking it on!

So what’s next? This year I have lots of plans. Finishing my book, and good willing, getting it published is my biggest goal (fitness aside!). Also, I’m working on my usual entry for wildlife artist of the year. I’ve got a few more paintings in a gallery now, which is brilliant.

A few of my more recent drawings using pastel pencil.

Fitness wise! Well, there’s lots. My wife and I began on the 1st of January doing the blesma 90 sit ups a day challenge. Which we have done everyday, and will continue. I have also began my virtual wheel to Mt Fuji, of which I am half way through. I’ve also entered the following: The Exmouth triathlon on 15th May, The great West run half marathon on 22nd May, The Bridgewater half marathon on 04th September, The Goodwood marathon on 25th September, and am still hoping Blesma will let me join their team to do the London marathon on the 02nd of October. Also I am hoping to complete a few marathon distance virtual races along the way. All of which will be raising money for Blesma.

January so far…

So, although January hasn’t got off to the best start, it could be worse. Plus, when you have crps and fibromyalgia, you learn to take everyday as it comes. It isn’t easy, and I’m still learning to be patient with myself. I get very frustrated when my body doesn’t behave in a way I want it too, but I will keep trying. I hope that I get to achieve all the go’s I’ve set myself this year, and will keep plugging away. I’m also hoping that the pain from the TMR surgery will lessen, so I can wear a leg for a few minutes more. I can only wear it a few minutes a day, when my leg is behaving at the moment. Which is great, but I could do better! I am very hopeful for 2022. I hope all my friends have a wonderful, healthy and happy new year.

Indignity!!

So, right now I’m sat in the waiting room of the accident and emergency department in Exeter. I was bought in by ambulance earlier (will sat why in a minute!). Now I have been wheeled on a hospital wheelchair, one with no chance at self propulsion, into a waiting room, on my own, and I’m dying for the loo!!! I never wanted to feel the way I do now. Completely useless and cast aside. I have literally been dumped. I am totally stuck, unless I crawl across the floor. My wide is at work, and although will be here at some point, I’ve now been waiting for 2 hours! Whilst sat here a number of nurses and doctors have wondered passed. I tried to get the attention of one of them, to no avail. I feel so helpless! Why would someone just dump someone like this, when they know they are immobile?

So, earlier today, I was sat drawing, as usual, on the sofa, when suddenly I had chest pain, then jaw pain, and my heart rate escalated to 206. It felt as if my heart was trying to break through my chest. I felt nauseous, light headed and short of breath. It was absolutely terrifying. I have never before thought I was going to die. Now the nurse in me went straight to impending doom, and with the symptoms it was hard not too. My mouth was dry, my fingers numbing and I was cold sweating. I thought I was having a heart attack. Now, as I’m still here, it is evident that this I not the case. I think I had a panic attack. Very strange considering I was just sat on the sofa. Last time I checked, drawing was a relaxing activity, and although I had Buffy on in the background, it is not scary enough to trigger a panic attack. So another perplexing moment!

So, the paramedics arrived, and with chest pain and a heart rate of 206, they bought me into A&E. Turns out, it was the wrong day to have an episode of any kind, as it is so busy. So, I was taken into a room, they did my blood pressure, asked a bunch of questions to which no one listened to the answer. They were too busy sorting out a drunk lady in the corridor! Next thing I knew, I was dumped in the waiting room. No explanation, no dignity, no help.

Now, I’m still sat. Needing the loo. Nowhere near a toilet, and even if I could see one, no way of getting there! I asked the paramedics to bring my chair, but they said I didn’t need it, and to be honest, at that point I felt as if I was going to pass out, so didn’t think to question it!

I had the pleasantries of two children noticing my lack of leg, who proceeded to amuse themselves greatly with gears of disgust! Not that things like that bother me, because they don’t. They’re just curious, but when your feeling like a lesser human, the last thing you want, is any attention drawn to you. I just want to go home! My wife suggested on the phone, to self discharge. Good idea, but how? I can’t go anywhere. I’m totally stuck!!!

I never want to feel like this again! Not ever. I just want to go home, and have the dignity of being able to go to the toilet before it’s too late! Yet, I can’t, not until my wife can finally get here, if they let her in!